Saving You
by brookegrace
Summary: "As much as you wanna believe that you're okay and happy, you'll realize that you're not, and when that happens you'll find someone because you're not strong enough to make it alone. No one is." AU. Some future chapters may be rated M.


_**Here's a new story. I don't have much to say about it, just that it'll get a lot better. There won't be tons of Lily in the other chapters, I just needed them to meet somehow. Some future chapters may be rated M. Enjoy and please review! They're the best motivation!  
**_

_**Xx N.**_

-X-

_Down in a local bar  
Out on the Boulevard  
The sound of an old guitar  
Is saving you from sinking_

She wakes up sometime before the sun rises, and mentally curses her body for not allowing a few more minutes of rest. Minutes that her exhausted self can't afford to lose.

Between work and her love for designing, Brooke finds it hard to squeeze any time for herself. Mostly because these two things have been the definition of her being, and quite honestly, all she really loves.

Pouring the warm, black liquid that calls to her like salvation, Brooke turns her attention to the pile of ungraded tests that are scattered on her kitchen table. Sighing, she begins to shift through them, already having a familiar overwhelming feeling begin to engulf her.

"Brooke?" Cocking her head towards the wailing sound of her roommate, Rachael, Brooke braced herself for the start of her day.

She didn't say anything right away, because she figured that maybe Rachael would think that she had left for work early, or was just in the shower, but her hopes were short lived when the desperate calls for her continued to echo through the dimly lit apartment.

"Coming, Rach," she murmured, knowing that her friend wouldn't be able to hear, but today she just didn't feel like going through Rachael's little 'ritual'.

"What took you so long?" sobbed Rachael, pulling her head from beneath the covers.

It was funny really, watching the read head's quivering bottom lip and stained red eyes, Brooke came to the conclusion that her student's were probably more mature than her best friend.

It should bother her that Rachael can't tell how irritated she is by her behavior, or that she's just as emotionally worn as her, but it doesn't.

Brooke's never been one to put her needs first, and that's her downfall.

"What's wrong this morning?" Brooke sighed, opening the curtains of the dark bedroom while getting a unsatisfactory groan from Rachael.

"Dan and I got in another argument last night," Rachael cried, earning a scowl from her friend.

"I told you, Rach, he's not going to leave Deb for you," Brooke disputed for the millionth time. "He's just not," she finished bitterly, bracing herself for the long winded speech her friend would give her about the unspoken love Dan has for her.

"Brooke, you don't know anything," Rachael challenged, using her personal favorite excuse for when it came to the brunette. "You've never been in love."

_But keep it all inside, all inside  
When you fall apart  
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes _

The words should bring her some sort of pain or even discomfort, because at twenty five she should have experienced the feeling that always seems to allude her, but now she no longer allows the thought, let alone words, bother her.

And if it did, she didn't let it show.

She didn't let the redhead know that she often drank herself to sleep to numb the pain of loneliness. Or that sometimes when the wine wasn't enough to make it go away, she would pray to a God that she didn't even believe in.

Then, when she would wake up in the morning, she would find herself back on autopilot and make herself believe that the night was just a really bad dream. Then she would convince herself, even if just for the day, that she really wasn't lonely, and life would go on.

Until the next time something pushed her to the edge or her stability and reality hit again.

"You're right," Brooke countered, earning a chastising smirk from the redhead, "but if being in love means being like you are right now, I don't think I really want it."

She was lying and she knew it, so before Rachael had a chance to realize how envious of her Brooke really was, Brooke left the room. Because as much as she told herself that she never wanted to put herself through the heartache she saw Rachael and all of her friends go through, she couldn't deny the happiness that she saw in them.

When Rachael wasn't fighting with Dan, she wore a smile that would quite literally make a room glow. Rachael would be captured in a trance of complete and utter bliss, and would swear that life was solely lived for those rare moments.

Brooke yearned to feel that more than anything.

So, grabbing the ungraded stack of papers and purse, she left the apartment. Because if she's in there any longer, she won't have any strength to pretend the day away.

_That song you softly sing  
Is keeping you from breaking _

-X-

The day went by in a blur, just how she likes it; the young children keep her mind away from thoughts that don't need to be ventured.

And as she sits on her desk, placing stickers on the papers that she has finally finished grading, she doesn't notice the masculine body that enters the room.

Not only that, but she doesn't even notice him watching her with hidden interest until the squeal of a student interrupts her.

"Lil, I've been waiting for you outside for almost ten minutes," the tall blonde stated when the child discovered his presence.

"I'm sorry," Lily sighed, slightly shrugging her shoulders as her attention turned back to the paper on her desk. "Ms. Brooke asked us to draw a pretty picture of our family and I didn't get to finish," the six year old explained, pointing a lazy finger towards her now frowning teacher.

"Lily, you know that when the bells rings, students can not stay in the class room unless I state other wise," Brooke reminded sternly, feeling the need to clarify that she had no idea that the child was still in the class room, because the blonde had now turned his stern expression towards her.

"I'm sorry Ms. Davis, but I'm done with my picture now anyways," Lily giggled, holding up a drawing of what seemed to be her family, with what appeared to be a blonde man frowning.

"Just put it on my desk," Brooke instructed, trying to not seem amused by the drawing. "And could you give me and," Brooke paused, her perfectly plucked brows furrowing with embarrassment when she realized that she didn't know who the man was.

"Lucas," he smiled, shaking her hand as he did so.

"Lucas," she repeated, her raspy voice stretching out his name as she hesitantly let go of his hand. Clearing her throat, she turned her attention back to the small girl, "Could you wait outside the classroom, Lily? I just gotta tell him a few secrets about ya," Brooke whispered, giving the girl a small wink as she nodded eagerly in response to Brooke.

Once the little brunette exited the classroom, Lucas turned his attention back to Brooke. Not failing to notice how a small dimple popped on her face when she placed a sticker on the paper his younger sister had just handed to her.

"Are you Lily's father?" she asked, turning questioning hazel eyes to him.

"No, I'm her brother," he replied, sitting down on the top of a desk parallel to Brooke.

"Oh," Brooke mouthed. "I was going to say, you look too young to be a parent," she admitted, a dimple protruding for the second time since his arrival.

"Well, you look too young to be a teacher," he commented, chuckling when he saw a rosy color creep into her cheeks.

_Don't be afraid  
But keep it all inside, all inside  
_

"Kinda set myself up for that," she laughed, trying to shake the new found nervousness away.

"Yeah," he nodded, not being able to hold back a smile. "I hope Lily gives you less trouble than she gives me," he continued, smiling yet again at the thought of his little sister.

"She's a sweet girl," Brooke reassured, using this new topic as a good enough reason to leave the conversation that was sure to turn awkward very soon. "I've just noticed a few things that have left me a little worried," she explained, feeling an unexplainable sense of disappointment when the smile left his face.

"Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly, quickly glancing towards the shut door that the young girl had been standing by only minutes ago.

"Yes, she's doing just fine," Brooke promised, getting up from her desk as she did. She wasn't even aware of what her body was doing, but it was as if something primal was needing for her to get as close as possible to him, because before she knew it, she was sitting on the end of her desk, a few feet away from him.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, worried for his sister but not being able to help the way his eyes traveled up her lean legs in admiration.

"I've just noticed that she isn't as social as the other children," Brooke explained, supporting her upper half with one arm on the top of the desk while the other pushed down creases on her pencil skirt. "She prefers to work alone and even spends her time during recess by herself," she added, turning her gaze from her skirt to Lucas. "Do you have any idea why this may be?"

"I, uh," he stopped, his eyes squinting in an almost brooding like way, before his face began to ease up with some sort of realization. "Her dad past away a year ago," he whispered, watching Brooke's lips form into a small "o".

"I'm so sorry."

Lucas nodded, offering her a half smile as a thank you. "I know she's still hurting about it, but I never knew it was this bad," he murmured, as if it was all somehow his fault.

"Every child deals with loss differently, in fact, every person," Brooke tried to explain, feeling a sense of sympathy for him. "This is just her way."

"I just," he began, but stopped, his face contorting before her and then and there she came to the conclusion that he was definitely brooding. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Well, I can have her see the guidance counselor, and I can give you a few phone numbers of parents and you could arrange some play dates with them," Brooke advised, giving him a smile in an effort to reassure him that everything was okay.

To her surprise he smiled back.

"Thank you," he stopped, before awkwardly adding "Ms. Davis."

"Oh, my name is Brooke," she laughed, her button nose scrunching as she did so.

"Nice to meet you, Brooke," he smiled, getting up as he did so. "I better get going before rugratt has a tantrum out there tho," he added, getting a small nod of agreement from Brooke.

"I'll send some phone numbers home with Lily tomorrow," she promised, pushing herself off the desk and leading the way towards the door that is decorated with the names of the students in her class.

"Thanks," he replied, seeing her once again blush slightly when their hips brushed against the other's, an electric feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach at the innocent touch.

To say she was beautiful would be an understatement. Erotically sexy would be more appropriate.

"Finally!" wailed Lily, jumping out of the small bench that was next to a line of cubbys. "Since I was a good little girl can we get ice cream, Lukey!" she asked, jumping up and down in front of the two adults as she did so.

"I don't know, I think it's up to Brooke," he jokingly whispered to the little girl, earning a husky laugh from Brooke.

"Who's Brooke?" Lily asked confused.

"Uh, forget it, Lil," Lucas replied, trying not to laugh at his younger sister. "We can get some ice cream."

"Yay!" squealed the little girl, clapping her hands, delighted. "Can Ms. Davis come with?" she asked excitingly, giving the two a toothy grin. "Puhhlease!"

"I don't know, honey. It's up to Ms. Davis," Lucas replied calmly, catching Brooke off guard.

"Oh, Lily, I can't tonight," Brooke lied because in all honesty she would love to more than anything. She knows that this would be crossing some unspoken rules that come with being a teacher and as much as she would love to get to know Lucas more, she knows she can't.

And even though she wants to have someone more than anything, the thought of not being alone scares her because she's never known anything else.

_And just like that  
It's over. _

-X-

"Rach?" Brooke called out as she entered the apartment. She instantly smelled the warm aroma of pasta coming from the kitchen, and she allowed herself to smile.

A cooking Rachael was a happy Rachael.

"In the kitchen," the redhead replied, only proving what Brooke already knew.

"What's with the sudden mood change?" asked the brunette, hoisting herself onto a bar stool while sliding a glass of wine down the island towards her, and slipping her feet free of her high heels.

"I could ask the same to you," Rachael laughed, not failing to notice the smile that seemed to rarely fall on the brunette's lips.

"Shut up," Brooke huskily mumbled, slapping her friend's arm when she walked by to retrieve the bottle of wine.

"Hey!" Rachael giggled, smacking the back of Brooke's head. "Don't be a bitch!"

"Whatever, whore," Brooke laughed, rolling her eyes at Rachael who had resorted to sticking her tongue out at her.

"Spill, Brooke." Rachael's expression turned more serious, but still maintained a gentleness in her eyes, because she loves the brunette and seeing her smile is something she would give anything for.

"I met a really amazing guy today, Rach," Brooke finally confessed, watching her friend's eyes widen in shock and then pure amusement.

"So Brookie isn't broken after all," Rachael joked pointing towards Brooke's lower half, kinking her brows as she leaned against the counter. "How'd you meet him?"

Ignoring the sexual comment, Brooke sighed shaking her head. "He's off limits," she murmured against the glass of wines.

"Is he married?"

"No."

"Gay?"

"No!"

"Oh, Brooke, please don't tell me he's a minor?" Rachael asked worryingly, but when she saw the disgusted look on Brooke's face, she almost wants to laugh out loud. "Then what is it?"

"He's a parent, well," Brooke stopped, biting her lip as she thought over her statement, "he's actually a brother, but still," she finished, a small melancholy smile on her face, which caused Rachael to begin to study her with more interest.

A crushing Brooke she had seen before, even a flirtatious one, but she had never seen Brooke sad over _a _boy. Over guys in general, maybe, but never over one in particular.

"I don't think that's really why," Rachael whispered, her eyes narrowed as a knowing smile played at her lips.

"What are you talking about, Rach?" Brooke asked, trying to not seem bothered by the way her friend was eying her.

Rachael may be ignorant at times when it came to Brooke's feelings, but no one knew the brunette better than the red head, and vise versa.

"I think there's more to it, but you're just using that as an excuse to not get any more involved with him."

"Yeah, okay, Rach," Brooke agreed sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she did so.

Because ignorance was easier than admitting that Rachael was right.

"Whatever you wanna believe, Brooke," laughed Rachael, shaking her head in amusement, "but just know that one day hiding from your emotions won't work anymore, and when that day comes, you'll have to realize that you can't pretend your life away. And as much as you wanna believe that you're okay and happy, you'll realize that you're not, and when that happens you'll find someone because you're not strong enough to make it alone," she stopped, watching Brooke's facade almost melt away at the words."Trust me, Brooke, no one is."

_Don't turn away  
Don't be afraid _


End file.
